For today:

Good shit for Wednesday:

Use this next time you're drunk or something:

"Being (LMC) isn't easy, folks. You gotta be a bad-ass 24-7. All night, too. Of course, this outer macho thing is just a front. I'm hiding a friendly tiger in here. You ever seen a drunk tiger? Their stripes fall off until they sober up. And that's not ALL that comes off, IF you know what I mean."

Just substitute your name where mine falls, and you're like fucking butter.

11.26.05 -- the other night

When LMC, ODB, CatR, and IW come together, you don't get Voltron... you get fuckin' trouble son. Not to mention, the Two Worst Dudes Ever were there and shit got to gettin'. It was rad, and there's a fine footy alibi to boot. Here are some stills from all that mess, complete with some ODB guerilla graffiti:

Left cheek/Right cheek:

When I finally took a shower, I noticed my ass...




and, it'd been had.

Apparently, the fiends don't care much about remaining anonymous... I was there though, so I guess it doesn't matter.

Detective MC in action..

No crew? No fuckin' problem.

Solo videos at 3am. Damn straight!

Just took this shit:

It's crazy!

Oh man..

I think I'll probably post something better tomorrow, but, uh...

I think I'm gonna.. no, I know I'm gonna rip into these Ritz and slather on the Easy Cheese.. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Info about Japan quote of the morning:

They're obviously trying to lure young,
impressionable Internet users to hop on the first
plane to Japan, thinking they're gonna get to
play with all these fun characters, WHEN IN REALITY
they are going to be stripped, bound and gagged
and made to perform in ILLEGAL bukkake movies!

It's all perfectly clear.

Good point though - you're obviously quite impressionable if you think you can hop on the first flight to Japan. I'm sure that flight has flown...

A touch of class..

I'll eat an After-Eight mint before I spit in your face.

Some's for torture..

My Sherpa - Derpa One Two, tolds myself to drink the fudge up big baby-doll caterer. Put your fishnets up and wield your breast-harness skizzie-high. Break Yo-Self fool, and put the smack on your inner-thigh.

Harold says:

“Water storms” — when you drink all night at Max Fish and you wake up in the morning and watery shit comes out your ass, you have the water storms. - Harold

You know what else I like?

Condiments, man...

And salt, too.

Forklifts are fun!

First paycheck + First stop = the beer

The beer/x = y

y = a box full of empty

I spent the first half of the night driving the forklift outside moving cement. It was actually a refreshing 30-somethin' degrees outside.

What else? I get to drive all kinds of fantastic power equipment around... and they call it a job..?! Pfff.. Well, beside the fact I can't drink or beat it for 9 hours.

Whodini is a ho.

I was googling random shit and came across some dude's blog. I read several entries before I realized I was doing it. There were some detailed accounts there about Burning Man and him riding 150 miles on a road bike. The stories weren't very entertaining at all, but I kept reading them. It made me think: "Is blogging just for chatting to the internet, say, as you would a co-worker?"... Then I pondered whether or not the dude was as big a yuppie as his blog led me to believe..

Anyway, does anyone else get tired of re-counting their daily's? I know I do. Then again, I know some people that will get on the phone, tell an otherwise asinine anecdote from the day; then, as if once weren't enough, get on the phone with someone else afterwards and tell them the same shit. But, not done yet! They'll then tell anyone within earshot the same trivial garbage, unaware that these people heard the shit twice already.

Once is enough, and sometimes too much.

I got on here with the intention of.... I really don't remember now.

W Loves it!

Ahhhh!

Muthafuckin' Aftermath of a Self-Punch..

..like almost an hour later when she mentions a John Cusack movie:

Hey!: A new law that will force all strippers to wear badges with their real names and information on them while dancing....?

B.A.C. -vs- Self-Punches

B.A.C. triumphs again!

Okay, what is going on here?

Could someone please explain this to me?

Darth MC has entered the battlefield.

I underestimated the power of The Dark Side..


I've gone Ape Shit!, and I'm never looking back..

It's Wednesday..

Brandon, that's about as good a game as skipping rocks in a gravel pit... you certainly are the one to bloat.

Fantastic sleuthing by the way. She should've used the link.. -->

..they're pretty handy.


In other news, I have the night off. Wish me ill.

Behold my future.

I found this pic of what is going to finally happen to me when I snap.

louisville hoe-jo, and I aint talking howard johnson

hahahah didnt really plan on ever comin back to this intillectual turf, but adrienne's noticing of a certain leroy mc on mojo had my ass rolling harder than little chinese kids roll eggs.

YOU FAG


hows that for good game

Squirrel's demise:

Finally, street justice hath been served!

A squirrel drowned in Donald's toilet... no shit. Not sure how he got in there, but he was freshly wasted when Donald's g/f found his ass. The critter still had some bubbles rolling out of his snout when Donald snatched him out and threw him in the yard. The damn bastard didn't go too peacefully though. He was apparently kicking and scratching to get out and caused quite the drowning squirrel mess. What can you do?

In other noteworthy news, the cops did show up. Half the crowd found it funny, half found it disturbing. Donald handled that one too.

We didn't have as many "go get me this" runs as expected.. so the mix tape was limited to the critics inside the apartment. No car parties this time around.

The RC challenge was on, wherein all the "cattle" were tagged and tickets were drawn for shots of Crown Royal. And yes, I do know that the initals are actually CR, but it is the RC challenge... so nyah!

I just read Redbook and now I'm going to eat stew. BEEF!

Locker 138..

A few days in and I'm doing the regular shit at work now. Being at the Home Depot after hours ain't bad at all. No customers... but bad country music on the overhead. Where's the iPod?

I need some new shoes. You needed to know that.

I also have to take a dump as of this writing. Woo!

This ugly broad..

Ewwww.

Motherfuckers.

I wish you all ill.

That is the best worst photoshop of me EVER though.

Props and anti-Props