We just received a text-to-land line call here at the house. It said:
"I just wanted to wish you a merry christmas before I got naked, drunk, and lost my phone."
12/24/2009
12/22/2009
DAMN
Yeah so its been a while
I'm pretty sure that our old friend Frank H. Ryan is dead with my new job I can look up anyone who has ever been arrested at the jail and the dude was arrested a shit load of times between like 97 and 03 and nothing since then so i think he prolly died
he is a fallen brother
Oh yeah and I also looked at your mugshot john from your telephone pranking days and
that shit is funny
Incase anyone forgot
WE FUCKING ROCK YOU, ROCK YOUR SOCKS OFF OF YOU
I'm pretty sure that our old friend Frank H. Ryan is dead with my new job I can look up anyone who has ever been arrested at the jail and the dude was arrested a shit load of times between like 97 and 03 and nothing since then so i think he prolly died
he is a fallen brother
Oh yeah and I also looked at your mugshot john from your telephone pranking days and
that shit is funny
Incase anyone forgot
WE FUCKING ROCK YOU, ROCK YOUR SOCKS OFF OF YOU
9/26/2009
Do what now?
Baton therapy motherfuckers that is what. Working where my buddy Charles worked for a while huh? Damn wish you were there for when I got my 6 hours for prank calling. Glad to waste the city's money on that one. Yep didnt learn my lesson either LOL. Still get laughs out of that story. Man nothing new here honestly. My live is the suck. It isnt bad, it just isnt eventful. I should burn things.
9/24/2009
9/15/2009
Let me clear my throat!
Well it's been a while since I posted on this thingee so heres and update.......
I start Police Academy on Friday as a Corrections Officer yep i am the LAW and shit should be a pretty badass time ten weeks of police training and then i get to bash inmates.
So the trip to TX is off but im going to be making a good amount of dough so i hope we can book something for the spring i wanted to come down next month but it just wont work so we will work something out.
so how is everybody else doin?? alive and well i presume, or at least hope
thats about all up here for now
Later
I start Police Academy on Friday as a Corrections Officer yep i am the LAW and shit should be a pretty badass time ten weeks of police training and then i get to bash inmates.
So the trip to TX is off but im going to be making a good amount of dough so i hope we can book something for the spring i wanted to come down next month but it just wont work so we will work something out.
so how is everybody else doin?? alive and well i presume, or at least hope
thats about all up here for now
Later
8/30/2009
In the meantime..
I want you to execute this plan:
What you will need: 1 x knife, 1 x ring, access to a sun, the ability to grow a beard.
You will also need: 1 x woman (the mark); but remember:
Step One: Place the ring on your wedding finger and avoid contact with the mark for a month.
Step Two: Stop shaving and use the sun to gain a tan.
Step Three: After a month when your beard is full and your tan is noticeable, remove the ring from your finger.
Step Four: Remove all your clothes and break into your mark's house.
Step Five: Use the knife to cut your body in various places. Avoid the face. If possible, focus on your back. The more blood the better.
Step Six: Enter your mark's bedroom and lie face down on the floor. Wait for her return.
Step Seven: When she enters the room pretend to be unconscious. Allow her to turn you over and try to wake you for a few seconds before you open your eyes. The injuries to your body will serve as a distraction to your nakedness. She will be more concerned about your well being instead of fearing the naked man in her room.
Step Eight: When she asks you what's happened you should ignore her questions. Instead you must act confused and ask the date. If it's September 15th she will say 'September 15th' to which you must reply 'No, what year is it?'
Step Nine: Upon hearing the year say the words 'It worked.' Pretend to lose consciousness again for a few seconds, implying that whatever it is that has worked took a great effort.
Step Ten: If your mark is a curious person she will probably ask 'What worked?', even if she doesn't ask this question it is important that you now say the words '(Insert mark's Name), I'm from the future.' in your most deadpan voice.
Step Eleven: Pause for ten seconds to allow the incrediblness of the situation to sink in. There will be no reason for her to doubt your claim, because your beard will make you appear many years older and your cuts would add weight to the idea that you've come from a post-apocalyptic future where a war is currently taking place.
Step Twelve: Raise your left hand to your face. All women are very observant, so your friend will immediately notice the tanline on your wedding finger. If she is educated to a decent standard she will realize that you are married and your ring has simply disappeared, because clothing and other items cannot travel through time. Your nudity will support this.
Step Thirteen: Now comes the hard part - The monologue. In your own words you must give a speech in which you mention all of these key points:
a) You are married to each other in the future
b) Her current boyfriend is dead
c) The world is coming to an end. It's up to you to pick a reason, but I would recommend a war against machines. This whole situation will be backed up by the Terminator franchise
d) In the future your relationship is not going well
e) You've come back in time because you can't help but feel that she would have been happier with her current boyfriend if he hadn't been killed
f) Her current boyfriend is going to be hit by a bus on a day six months from her present. She should stop him going to work that day
g) If she does exactly what you say this current version of yourself will be erased and you will never get married. If she questions this flaw in your time travel logic, because you cannot change the past, simply reference Back to the Future
Step Fourteen: Unless your mark is made of stone she will now be overcome by emotion, especially at your selflessness. Get to your feet and go to kiss her goodbye. It is important that you do this with the confidence of a man who has done this to her many times.
Step Fifteen: There is now no possible way that you aren't about to have sex with her. You're naked, kissing her, in her bedroom, agreeing to erase a version of yourself from history to make her happy. And as far as she knows you've had sex many times in a future that will no longer happen, so she thinks to herself that maybe she should have one memory of it.
Step Sixteen: After having the sex, tell her to leave.
What you will need: 1 x knife, 1 x ring, access to a sun, the ability to grow a beard.
You will also need: 1 x woman (the mark); but remember:
Step One: Place the ring on your wedding finger and avoid contact with the mark for a month.
Step Two: Stop shaving and use the sun to gain a tan.
Step Three: After a month when your beard is full and your tan is noticeable, remove the ring from your finger.
Step Four: Remove all your clothes and break into your mark's house.
Step Five: Use the knife to cut your body in various places. Avoid the face. If possible, focus on your back. The more blood the better.
Step Six: Enter your mark's bedroom and lie face down on the floor. Wait for her return.
Step Seven: When she enters the room pretend to be unconscious. Allow her to turn you over and try to wake you for a few seconds before you open your eyes. The injuries to your body will serve as a distraction to your nakedness. She will be more concerned about your well being instead of fearing the naked man in her room.
Step Eight: When she asks you what's happened you should ignore her questions. Instead you must act confused and ask the date. If it's September 15th she will say 'September 15th' to which you must reply 'No, what year is it?'
Step Nine: Upon hearing the year say the words 'It worked.' Pretend to lose consciousness again for a few seconds, implying that whatever it is that has worked took a great effort.
Step Ten: If your mark is a curious person she will probably ask 'What worked?', even if she doesn't ask this question it is important that you now say the words '(Insert mark's Name), I'm from the future.' in your most deadpan voice.
Step Eleven: Pause for ten seconds to allow the incrediblness of the situation to sink in. There will be no reason for her to doubt your claim, because your beard will make you appear many years older and your cuts would add weight to the idea that you've come from a post-apocalyptic future where a war is currently taking place.
Step Twelve: Raise your left hand to your face. All women are very observant, so your friend will immediately notice the tanline on your wedding finger. If she is educated to a decent standard she will realize that you are married and your ring has simply disappeared, because clothing and other items cannot travel through time. Your nudity will support this.
Step Thirteen: Now comes the hard part - The monologue. In your own words you must give a speech in which you mention all of these key points:
a) You are married to each other in the future
b) Her current boyfriend is dead
c) The world is coming to an end. It's up to you to pick a reason, but I would recommend a war against machines. This whole situation will be backed up by the Terminator franchise
d) In the future your relationship is not going well
e) You've come back in time because you can't help but feel that she would have been happier with her current boyfriend if he hadn't been killed
f) Her current boyfriend is going to be hit by a bus on a day six months from her present. She should stop him going to work that day
g) If she does exactly what you say this current version of yourself will be erased and you will never get married. If she questions this flaw in your time travel logic, because you cannot change the past, simply reference Back to the Future
Step Fourteen: Unless your mark is made of stone she will now be overcome by emotion, especially at your selflessness. Get to your feet and go to kiss her goodbye. It is important that you do this with the confidence of a man who has done this to her many times.
Step Fifteen: There is now no possible way that you aren't about to have sex with her. You're naked, kissing her, in her bedroom, agreeing to erase a version of yourself from history to make her happy. And as far as she knows you've had sex many times in a future that will no longer happen, so she thinks to herself that maybe she should have one memory of it.
Step Sixteen: After having the sex, tell her to leave.
8/29/2009
So as I arise from the abyss...
Well I FINALLY got my fucking truck back. August 4 until August 27 I had every type of red tape thrown at me and then I got my truck. I still have the scars from the sun burn. I just think of it as some fucked up solar branding I got. Makes me feel better. Everything is about back to normal between everyone. Travis and Sean are friends. Ya know who I was beginning to feel like?
I got a new found respect for him after all this shit happened.
Videos, watching them of our shit. is I am reading that right. Copyright 2004? FIVE FUCKING YEARS or so...reunion is needed. I say we make it an extravaganza. I get this damned green up and my shit together. The band needs to get back together. SPRING SPRING BREAK. YO VANILLA...LETS DO IT!
I got a new found respect for him after all this shit happened.
Videos, watching them of our shit. is I am reading that right. Copyright 2004? FIVE FUCKING YEARS or so...reunion is needed. I say we make it an extravaganza. I get this damned green up and my shit together. The band needs to get back together. SPRING SPRING BREAK. YO VANILLA...LETS DO IT!
7/30/2009
Forgive the Camera man
He was on some weight loss stuff that makes him jittery. You should have seen the wedding video he did...uh oh I got a bombshell I have been meaning to drop. Yep not me that got married but anyone care to throw out a guess...give up...want one more guess. Broderick...swear to you. I was the best man. I was front row to see another one bite the dust.
7/20/2009
7/18/2009
6/18/2009
4/14/2009
4/12/2009
4/08/2009
OLD NEWS
Look at the mothafuckin boat shit i saw that shit like 3 weeks ago
but anyways its still funny as shit with my flippy floppys
but yeah i think a fall trip is probably a better idea my self too I dont mind oppressive heat but i think it might be nicer if it wasn't so hot but still warm and shit
plus it gives me a little more time to try and save some cash up , but even in the fall im not sure i will be able to do it, i just have to see if i can figure out what to do with sophia but i damn sure really want to
but anyways its still funny as shit with my flippy floppys
but yeah i think a fall trip is probably a better idea my self too I dont mind oppressive heat but i think it might be nicer if it wasn't so hot but still warm and shit
plus it gives me a little more time to try and save some cash up , but even in the fall im not sure i will be able to do it, i just have to see if i can figure out what to do with sophia but i damn sure really want to
4/04/2009
I'm on a chair!
If you have not seen/shit your pants and mine over this video... then you are blowing it.
This: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7yfISlGLNU
So, what I'm saying is: "Why fly.. when you can be on a boat?"
..and fuck summer.. take a fall trip, unless you like 120 degree heat and neverending thigh-balls. But god damn.. do some organizing and get the whole damn crew off their asses. Besides, the college broads don't migrate back 'til semester starts muthafucka..
This: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7yfISlGLNU
So, what I'm saying is: "Why fly.. when you can be on a boat?"
..and fuck summer.. take a fall trip, unless you like 120 degree heat and neverending thigh-balls. But god damn.. do some organizing and get the whole damn crew off their asses. Besides, the college broads don't migrate back 'til semester starts muthafucka..
3/31/2009
Well DUH!
yea why do you think I posted on here yo. I am thinking July or August. Want to see how the $ goes. Sorry, NOT driving. Why? Sooner I get there, sooner we can cause problems. yep, plan on flying...yep scared, but flying. Dont get me wrong, I want to road trip, but I want more TX time than drive time, but hey things could change. I was going to do a long week. like go in on a Friday, leave not the coming sunday but the NEXT sunday. I have the weekends off and I got enough vaction time to cover 8 days by that time. Thus maxiumizing my weekends there to check out the scene. I might try to get the wheels in motion to interview for a job down there also. Not sure yet. I will keep you updated.
3/26/2009
WHOOAAA!!
Did it occur to you that this motherfucker wouldn't mind heading to TEXAS too.
I mean goddamn that would be an occasion.
Slide me some serious details on this if you really are going
I would love to hang out for a few days and just fuck some shit up seriously
I mean goddamn that would be an occasion.
Slide me some serious details on this if you really are going
I would love to hang out for a few days and just fuck some shit up seriously
3/24/2009
Austin
Yep, leaning to that. I got a few other opinions, but of course mine is the one that matters, so I might be taking a trip up there this summer as soon as I get my $ together...warn the locals and have a wentch lined up for me.
2/28/2009
2/26/2009
I am not going to tolerate this!
How dare I be ignored and no one come back on here forever and say anything. I need an email from Jared. Jrodman01@charter.net I gotz questions up in here.
1/27/2009
Being Broderick's guy on the couch...
Yea went over there to Bed Bath and Beyond while I watch haplessly as yet another one falls while doing their gift registry and I was oggling the lady that was helping them out. After that, our bellies said McDonald's. Its winter and I should have know yet again something screwed up was going to happen to my vehicle and today was the day. I drove it to McDonald's, ya know no more that 200 feet, then embarked in there fine gourmet cuisine. Yep somofabish didnt start. So, we all did our best impressions of Mexicans and all hopped into her truck and went back to their apartment. Can't tow it because of all this damned snow and ice, with freezing ran, then more frozen water, then other crap in the mix to make it impossible to get my damned truck. So, we got clean clothes at my place before the big one hit and I have been the guy on the couch for the past few days. Jared I know you have been a guy on the couch before. Don't I get a membership card or something? Who is my union rep? What benifits do I get? I just want to make sure I am getting the full experience here.
1/23/2009
Road Trip
hummmmmmmmmm...yea I know I got one in June that is in the works for Florida...which it might be one way for me once I see those little brown eye mamis down there.
BUT I do have enough time for me to squeak in another trip. Hell, if their isnt enough sweet jalapeno pepper down there for me, I am sure TX could give me my fix. I hope one of them pulls a box cutter on me and cuss me out in Spanish...that would be hot...
BUT I do have enough time for me to squeak in another trip. Hell, if their isnt enough sweet jalapeno pepper down there for me, I am sure TX could give me my fix. I hope one of them pulls a box cutter on me and cuss me out in Spanish...that would be hot...
1/16/2009
Old and Fat
ahhh the days are upon us we are becoming old dudes
i knew it would come, time has finally chased our asses down
but damn john your old as shit hahahahah and getting quite robust in your gut area i guess your well on your way to your dream weight
we seriously need to think of something to do this summer ALL of us im
FUCKING SERIOUS on this too
i knew it would come, time has finally chased our asses down
but damn john your old as shit hahahahah and getting quite robust in your gut area i guess your well on your way to your dream weight
we seriously need to think of something to do this summer ALL of us im
FUCKING SERIOUS on this too
1/15/2009
1/14/2009
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