..is the elusive yeti. Thought to be extinct, this majestic creature
(Sorry, had to grab a beer.)
Where were we? Ah yes... what the fuck is up? I thought you'd discovered the Earth is actually flat and fell off it.
To the cover of the jungle a noble savage runs, his body tarnished and pained. Pursuit takes its toll.
10/05/2010
10/04/2010
...
[Pokes head in and looks around]
HELLO...(echoing: HELLo..HELlo..hello)
[shrugs shoulders and exits]
HELLO...(echoing: HELLo..HELlo..hello)
[shrugs shoulders and exits]
9/24/2010
8/18/2010
7/19/2010
A tripod. Get one..
I bet that explosion was awesome. I wish I could have seen it.
I like the added 'earthquake' affect you put in there. The "Holy shit, the ground is erupting beneath me, and all hell has broke loose!" vibe is excellent.
Damn man, buy these people a tripod and shit.
I like the added 'earthquake' affect you put in there. The "Holy shit, the ground is erupting beneath me, and all hell has broke loose!" vibe is excellent.
Damn man, buy these people a tripod and shit.
7/11/2010
well I come back with a blaze of glory
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUjreI_Bv1I
HAHAHAHAHAHA
2850. This footage was done with Broderick's wife(Another story, another day LOL) camera which isnt meant to be a video camera. The camera man from last year, his footage is not uploaded yet. He was told no to shake. Not to ruin anything, but he kinda had to at the end....
HAHAHAHAHAHA
2850. This footage was done with Broderick's wife(Another story, another day LOL) camera which isnt meant to be a video camera. The camera man from last year, his footage is not uploaded yet. He was told no to shake. Not to ruin anything, but he kinda had to at the end....
6/07/2010
4/01/2010
Teeth like this..
It has been a while, both on this piece and in general. I'm surprised you haven't got some sort of kid farm happening up there. Aw shit, Sunday incoming. Who's the Easter Bunny now muthafucka!
I was just thinking about that time outside Applebee's or O'Charlie's.. whichever; where I was explaining to that bitch how the smoke fuming from the gutter was a giant-ass rat with "teeth like this". Brandon asked me if I'd ever seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and at the time I didn't recall and couldn't figure out where the fuck that query came from. Left field or some shit.
Several years ago, I finaly made the connection.. the vorpal bunny and the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.. gah. Then I remembered my mom trying to show that shit to me when I was ten or so. I watched maybe five minutes then went outside, probably to set some shit on fire.. who knows.
Anyways, I guess I had seen it.. that movie's five minutes long right?
I was just thinking about that time outside Applebee's or O'Charlie's.. whichever; where I was explaining to that bitch how the smoke fuming from the gutter was a giant-ass rat with "teeth like this". Brandon asked me if I'd ever seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and at the time I didn't recall and couldn't figure out where the fuck that query came from. Left field or some shit.
Several years ago, I finaly made the connection.. the vorpal bunny and the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.. gah. Then I remembered my mom trying to show that shit to me when I was ten or so. I watched maybe five minutes then went outside, probably to set some shit on fire.. who knows.
Anyways, I guess I had seen it.. that movie's five minutes long right?
3/25/2010
So......
Whats up with everyone the board hasn't seen any action in a while so i figured i would say hello if anyone still reads this worn out medium of communication between the few of us
not much on this front sophie turns three on monday twas a quick few yrs
how is everything going on down in the desert
john whats up with you lately
Later
not much on this front sophie turns three on monday twas a quick few yrs
how is everything going on down in the desert
john whats up with you lately
Later
2/09/2010
1/01/2010
BUMMIES ALIVE
Well I still think that Frank is dead, but I am almost positive that we booked our friend John the Bum in last night I went back and watched our video of him and I am about 1000 % that its him this is good news I say, to know that at least one of our homeless brothers as still kicking
To all a Good Night
To all a Good Night
12/24/2009
Happy Festivus Honkies!
We just received a text-to-land line call here at the house. It said:
"I just wanted to wish you a merry christmas before I got naked, drunk, and lost my phone."
"I just wanted to wish you a merry christmas before I got naked, drunk, and lost my phone."
12/22/2009
DAMN
Yeah so its been a while
I'm pretty sure that our old friend Frank H. Ryan is dead with my new job I can look up anyone who has ever been arrested at the jail and the dude was arrested a shit load of times between like 97 and 03 and nothing since then so i think he prolly died
he is a fallen brother
Oh yeah and I also looked at your mugshot john from your telephone pranking days and
that shit is funny
Incase anyone forgot
WE FUCKING ROCK YOU, ROCK YOUR SOCKS OFF OF YOU
I'm pretty sure that our old friend Frank H. Ryan is dead with my new job I can look up anyone who has ever been arrested at the jail and the dude was arrested a shit load of times between like 97 and 03 and nothing since then so i think he prolly died
he is a fallen brother
Oh yeah and I also looked at your mugshot john from your telephone pranking days and
that shit is funny
Incase anyone forgot
WE FUCKING ROCK YOU, ROCK YOUR SOCKS OFF OF YOU
9/26/2009
Do what now?
Baton therapy motherfuckers that is what. Working where my buddy Charles worked for a while huh? Damn wish you were there for when I got my 6 hours for prank calling. Glad to waste the city's money on that one. Yep didnt learn my lesson either LOL. Still get laughs out of that story. Man nothing new here honestly. My live is the suck. It isnt bad, it just isnt eventful. I should burn things.
9/24/2009
9/15/2009
Let me clear my throat!
Well it's been a while since I posted on this thingee so heres and update.......
I start Police Academy on Friday as a Corrections Officer yep i am the LAW and shit should be a pretty badass time ten weeks of police training and then i get to bash inmates.
So the trip to TX is off but im going to be making a good amount of dough so i hope we can book something for the spring i wanted to come down next month but it just wont work so we will work something out.
so how is everybody else doin?? alive and well i presume, or at least hope
thats about all up here for now
Later
I start Police Academy on Friday as a Corrections Officer yep i am the LAW and shit should be a pretty badass time ten weeks of police training and then i get to bash inmates.
So the trip to TX is off but im going to be making a good amount of dough so i hope we can book something for the spring i wanted to come down next month but it just wont work so we will work something out.
so how is everybody else doin?? alive and well i presume, or at least hope
thats about all up here for now
Later
8/30/2009
In the meantime..
I want you to execute this plan:
What you will need: 1 x knife, 1 x ring, access to a sun, the ability to grow a beard.
You will also need: 1 x woman (the mark); but remember:

Step One: Place the ring on your wedding finger and avoid contact with the mark for a month.
Step Two: Stop shaving and use the sun to gain a tan.
Step Three: After a month when your beard is full and your tan is noticeable, remove the ring from your finger.
Step Four: Remove all your clothes and break into your mark's house.
Step Five: Use the knife to cut your body in various places. Avoid the face. If possible, focus on your back. The more blood the better.
Step Six: Enter your mark's bedroom and lie face down on the floor. Wait for her return.
Step Seven: When she enters the room pretend to be unconscious. Allow her to turn you over and try to wake you for a few seconds before you open your eyes. The injuries to your body will serve as a distraction to your nakedness. She will be more concerned about your well being instead of fearing the naked man in her room.
Step Eight: When she asks you what's happened you should ignore her questions. Instead you must act confused and ask the date. If it's September 15th she will say 'September 15th' to which you must reply 'No, what year is it?'
Step Nine: Upon hearing the year say the words 'It worked.' Pretend to lose consciousness again for a few seconds, implying that whatever it is that has worked took a great effort.
Step Ten: If your mark is a curious person she will probably ask 'What worked?', even if she doesn't ask this question it is important that you now say the words '(Insert mark's Name), I'm from the future.' in your most deadpan voice.
Step Eleven: Pause for ten seconds to allow the incrediblness of the situation to sink in. There will be no reason for her to doubt your claim, because your beard will make you appear many years older and your cuts would add weight to the idea that you've come from a post-apocalyptic future where a war is currently taking place.
Step Twelve: Raise your left hand to your face. All women are very observant, so your friend will immediately notice the tanline on your wedding finger. If she is educated to a decent standard she will realize that you are married and your ring has simply disappeared, because clothing and other items cannot travel through time. Your nudity will support this.
Step Thirteen: Now comes the hard part - The monologue. In your own words you must give a speech in which you mention all of these key points:
a) You are married to each other in the future
b) Her current boyfriend is dead
c) The world is coming to an end. It's up to you to pick a reason, but I would recommend a war against machines. This whole situation will be backed up by the Terminator franchise
d) In the future your relationship is not going well
e) You've come back in time because you can't help but feel that she would have been happier with her current boyfriend if he hadn't been killed
f) Her current boyfriend is going to be hit by a bus on a day six months from her present. She should stop him going to work that day
g) If she does exactly what you say this current version of yourself will be erased and you will never get married. If she questions this flaw in your time travel logic, because you cannot change the past, simply reference Back to the Future
Step Fourteen: Unless your mark is made of stone she will now be overcome by emotion, especially at your selflessness. Get to your feet and go to kiss her goodbye. It is important that you do this with the confidence of a man who has done this to her many times.
Step Fifteen: There is now no possible way that you aren't about to have sex with her. You're naked, kissing her, in her bedroom, agreeing to erase a version of yourself from history to make her happy. And as far as she knows you've had sex many times in a future that will no longer happen, so she thinks to herself that maybe she should have one memory of it.
Step Sixteen: After having the sex, tell her to leave.
What you will need: 1 x knife, 1 x ring, access to a sun, the ability to grow a beard.
You will also need: 1 x woman (the mark); but remember:

Step One: Place the ring on your wedding finger and avoid contact with the mark for a month.
Step Two: Stop shaving and use the sun to gain a tan.
Step Three: After a month when your beard is full and your tan is noticeable, remove the ring from your finger.
Step Four: Remove all your clothes and break into your mark's house.
Step Five: Use the knife to cut your body in various places. Avoid the face. If possible, focus on your back. The more blood the better.
Step Six: Enter your mark's bedroom and lie face down on the floor. Wait for her return.
Step Seven: When she enters the room pretend to be unconscious. Allow her to turn you over and try to wake you for a few seconds before you open your eyes. The injuries to your body will serve as a distraction to your nakedness. She will be more concerned about your well being instead of fearing the naked man in her room.
Step Eight: When she asks you what's happened you should ignore her questions. Instead you must act confused and ask the date. If it's September 15th she will say 'September 15th' to which you must reply 'No, what year is it?'
Step Nine: Upon hearing the year say the words 'It worked.' Pretend to lose consciousness again for a few seconds, implying that whatever it is that has worked took a great effort.
Step Ten: If your mark is a curious person she will probably ask 'What worked?', even if she doesn't ask this question it is important that you now say the words '(Insert mark's Name), I'm from the future.' in your most deadpan voice.
Step Eleven: Pause for ten seconds to allow the incrediblness of the situation to sink in. There will be no reason for her to doubt your claim, because your beard will make you appear many years older and your cuts would add weight to the idea that you've come from a post-apocalyptic future where a war is currently taking place.
Step Twelve: Raise your left hand to your face. All women are very observant, so your friend will immediately notice the tanline on your wedding finger. If she is educated to a decent standard she will realize that you are married and your ring has simply disappeared, because clothing and other items cannot travel through time. Your nudity will support this.
Step Thirteen: Now comes the hard part - The monologue. In your own words you must give a speech in which you mention all of these key points:
a) You are married to each other in the future
b) Her current boyfriend is dead
c) The world is coming to an end. It's up to you to pick a reason, but I would recommend a war against machines. This whole situation will be backed up by the Terminator franchise
d) In the future your relationship is not going well
e) You've come back in time because you can't help but feel that she would have been happier with her current boyfriend if he hadn't been killed
f) Her current boyfriend is going to be hit by a bus on a day six months from her present. She should stop him going to work that day
g) If she does exactly what you say this current version of yourself will be erased and you will never get married. If she questions this flaw in your time travel logic, because you cannot change the past, simply reference Back to the Future
Step Fourteen: Unless your mark is made of stone she will now be overcome by emotion, especially at your selflessness. Get to your feet and go to kiss her goodbye. It is important that you do this with the confidence of a man who has done this to her many times.
Step Fifteen: There is now no possible way that you aren't about to have sex with her. You're naked, kissing her, in her bedroom, agreeing to erase a version of yourself from history to make her happy. And as far as she knows you've had sex many times in a future that will no longer happen, so she thinks to herself that maybe she should have one memory of it.
Step Sixteen: After having the sex, tell her to leave.
8/29/2009
So as I arise from the abyss...
Well I FINALLY got my fucking truck back. August 4 until August 27 I had every type of red tape thrown at me and then I got my truck. I still have the scars from the sun burn. I just think of it as some fucked up solar branding I got. Makes me feel better. Everything is about back to normal between everyone. Travis and Sean are friends. Ya know who I was beginning to feel like?
I got a new found respect for him after all this shit happened.
Videos, watching them of our shit. is I am reading that right. Copyright 2004? FIVE FUCKING YEARS or so...reunion is needed. I say we make it an extravaganza. I get this damned green up and my shit together. The band needs to get back together. SPRING SPRING BREAK. YO VANILLA...LETS DO IT!
I got a new found respect for him after all this shit happened.
Videos, watching them of our shit. is I am reading that right. Copyright 2004? FIVE FUCKING YEARS or so...reunion is needed. I say we make it an extravaganza. I get this damned green up and my shit together. The band needs to get back together. SPRING SPRING BREAK. YO VANILLA...LETS DO IT!
7/30/2009
Forgive the Camera man
He was on some weight loss stuff that makes him jittery. You should have seen the wedding video he did...uh oh I got a bombshell I have been meaning to drop. Yep not me that got married but anyone care to throw out a guess...give up...want one more guess. Broderick...swear to you. I was the best man. I was front row to see another one bite the dust.
7/20/2009
7/18/2009
6/18/2009
4/14/2009
4/12/2009
4/08/2009
OLD NEWS
Look at the mothafuckin boat shit i saw that shit like 3 weeks ago
but anyways its still funny as shit with my flippy floppys
but yeah i think a fall trip is probably a better idea my self too I dont mind oppressive heat but i think it might be nicer if it wasn't so hot but still warm and shit
plus it gives me a little more time to try and save some cash up , but even in the fall im not sure i will be able to do it, i just have to see if i can figure out what to do with sophia but i damn sure really want to
but anyways its still funny as shit with my flippy floppys
but yeah i think a fall trip is probably a better idea my self too I dont mind oppressive heat but i think it might be nicer if it wasn't so hot but still warm and shit
plus it gives me a little more time to try and save some cash up , but even in the fall im not sure i will be able to do it, i just have to see if i can figure out what to do with sophia but i damn sure really want to
4/04/2009
I'm on a chair!
If you have not seen/shit your pants and mine over this video... then you are blowing it.
This: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7yfISlGLNU
So, what I'm saying is: "Why fly.. when you can be on a boat?"
..and fuck summer.. take a fall trip, unless you like 120 degree heat and neverending thigh-balls. But god damn.. do some organizing and get the whole damn crew off their asses. Besides, the college broads don't migrate back 'til semester starts muthafucka..
This: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7yfISlGLNU
So, what I'm saying is: "Why fly.. when you can be on a boat?"
..and fuck summer.. take a fall trip, unless you like 120 degree heat and neverending thigh-balls. But god damn.. do some organizing and get the whole damn crew off their asses. Besides, the college broads don't migrate back 'til semester starts muthafucka..
3/31/2009
Well DUH!
yea why do you think I posted on here yo. I am thinking July or August. Want to see how the $ goes. Sorry, NOT driving. Why? Sooner I get there, sooner we can cause problems. yep, plan on flying...yep scared, but flying. Dont get me wrong, I want to road trip, but I want more TX time than drive time, but hey things could change. I was going to do a long week. like go in on a Friday, leave not the coming sunday but the NEXT sunday. I have the weekends off and I got enough vaction time to cover 8 days by that time. Thus maxiumizing my weekends there to check out the scene. I might try to get the wheels in motion to interview for a job down there also. Not sure yet. I will keep you updated.
3/26/2009
WHOOAAA!!
Did it occur to you that this motherfucker wouldn't mind heading to TEXAS too.
I mean goddamn that would be an occasion.
Slide me some serious details on this if you really are going
I would love to hang out for a few days and just fuck some shit up seriously
I mean goddamn that would be an occasion.
Slide me some serious details on this if you really are going
I would love to hang out for a few days and just fuck some shit up seriously
3/24/2009
Austin
Yep, leaning to that. I got a few other opinions, but of course mine is the one that matters, so I might be taking a trip up there this summer as soon as I get my $ together...warn the locals and have a wentch lined up for me.
2/28/2009
2/26/2009
I am not going to tolerate this!
How dare I be ignored and no one come back on here forever and say anything. I need an email from Jared. Jrodman01@charter.net I gotz questions up in here.
1/27/2009
Being Broderick's guy on the couch...
Yea went over there to Bed Bath and Beyond while I watch haplessly as yet another one falls while doing their gift registry and I was oggling the lady that was helping them out. After that, our bellies said McDonald's. Its winter and I should have know yet again something screwed up was going to happen to my vehicle and today was the day. I drove it to McDonald's, ya know no more that 200 feet, then embarked in there fine gourmet cuisine. Yep somofabish didnt start. So, we all did our best impressions of Mexicans and all hopped into her truck and went back to their apartment. Can't tow it because of all this damned snow and ice, with freezing ran, then more frozen water, then other crap in the mix to make it impossible to get my damned truck. So, we got clean clothes at my place before the big one hit and I have been the guy on the couch for the past few days. Jared I know you have been a guy on the couch before. Don't I get a membership card or something? Who is my union rep? What benifits do I get? I just want to make sure I am getting the full experience here.
1/23/2009
Road Trip
hummmmmmmmmm...yea I know I got one in June that is in the works for Florida...which it might be one way for me once I see those little brown eye mamis down there.
BUT I do have enough time for me to squeak in another trip. Hell, if their isnt enough sweet jalapeno pepper down there for me, I am sure TX could give me my fix. I hope one of them pulls a box cutter on me and cuss me out in Spanish...that would be hot...
BUT I do have enough time for me to squeak in another trip. Hell, if their isnt enough sweet jalapeno pepper down there for me, I am sure TX could give me my fix. I hope one of them pulls a box cutter on me and cuss me out in Spanish...that would be hot...
1/16/2009
Old and Fat
ahhh the days are upon us we are becoming old dudes
i knew it would come, time has finally chased our asses down
but damn john your old as shit hahahahah and getting quite robust in your gut area i guess your well on your way to your dream weight
we seriously need to think of something to do this summer ALL of us im
FUCKING SERIOUS on this too
i knew it would come, time has finally chased our asses down
but damn john your old as shit hahahahah and getting quite robust in your gut area i guess your well on your way to your dream weight
we seriously need to think of something to do this summer ALL of us im
FUCKING SERIOUS on this too
1/15/2009
1/14/2009
12/26/2008
MY FAULT
12/25/2008
Merry Christmas Fags
yeah so it's like 12:30 and shit in the morn so i guess its actually Christmas
so have a good one or not, whatever makes you happy
damn and the one time i actually wanted to see john's pole he didn't post any pics
Fuck
so have a good one or not, whatever makes you happy
damn and the one time i actually wanted to see john's pole he didn't post any pics
Fuck
12/09/2008
I want to see a Festivus MIRACLE!
Man Christmas is just beginning to blow more and more each year. It started off as a good idea until everyone came along and messed it all up. I mean comeone now, the people in Wal Mart who were shopping that day that dude got trampled got mad about not being able to shop. SOME ONE DIED YOU SELFISH FUCKS. Anyway, I am going to get a Festivus pole and I am only celebrating Festivus. Pictures of my Festivus pole are soon to come.
12/03/2008
Big Floppy Tits!
What the fuck was I doing on that show.. I denied my express written consent after I literally shit my trousers 15 minutes into the taping. I saw all my fallen comrades and all their wives' floppy titties being crab-clawed by John at Phoenix Hill. It was paranormal alright.
12/01/2008
HEY I just caught that...
NO EWWW not looking DOWN in that picture but across... I saw better TEETAYS on this other chick that flashed me...who was married :(.
11/30/2008
Yea Happy Thanksgiving (FOR EVERYONE ELSE!)
Yea I manage to get intestinal flu so NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo I didn't get to eat a thing. Now I got to deal with fucking Christmas coming up. Haza haza. So, I came across this pic online.

Man Broderick and me were watching Ghost Adventures and we were like OH that is what Jared is doing now. Wondered why we have not heard from him in a while.
Man Broderick and me were watching Ghost Adventures and we were like OH that is what Jared is doing now. Wondered why we have not heard from him in a while.
11/29/2008
Happy Indian Death Day
Well i hope everyone had a nice weekend and shit
Long time no posty but not much going to talk about
Glad to see jared isn't dead it's been a while since we heard from you so i figured the worst.
well im out of here later
Long time no posty but not much going to talk about
Glad to see jared isn't dead it's been a while since we heard from you so i figured the worst.
well im out of here later
11/05/2008
11/03/2008
Halloween 2008
10/30/2008
Sooo...
Why the journey to the butthole? I cant see the video since we have hater block here so I just wanted to comment on the title and ask WHERE IN THE HELL IS EVERYONE?!
10/24/2008
Welcome to Starfish Land
Hot damn it's been a while since anyone has said shit so ill just let this speak for itself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DH3zZurhbUA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DH3zZurhbUA
9/26/2008
9/18/2008
9/10/2008
Yea the videos for me are not rollin
They set that stuff for me at work to hata and I cant see it. Would someone take the time to give me vivid details of the videos for me. Be sure to include still frames.
9/09/2008
The bomb in Phantoms!
Watch this shit:
Then..., watch this shit:
See more Sarah Silverman videos at Funny or Die
Then..., watch this shit:
See more funny videos at Funny or Die
9/04/2008
I place the blame on the LEO
The idiots from the LEO-a recent LEO-had the ad that said Nov. 2nd, so they ran the wrong ad. Stupid hippie propriganda!
AHHH LETS CLEAR THIS SHIT UP
OK they played Nov.2 last year and thats the link of the courier journal, that a clip from last year look at the date, and they are playing OCT. 19th at coyotes downtown
thats the facts its on a sunday weekend trip from TX aint that bad we did it to NEW YORK and the fits weren't even playing there
CAVEMAN out
thats the facts its on a sunday weekend trip from TX aint that bad we did it to NEW YORK and the fits weren't even playing there
CAVEMAN out
Okay maybe I COULD be right
http://www.courier-journal.com/blogs/vel10/2007/09/misfits-to-play-in-november.html
Maybe no one knows when they are going to show up. It will be like some weird coming of Jebus. no one knows when, they know it will happen. Maybe the misfits will just show up at some random spot, kick down the doors, take over and rock out.
Maybe no one knows when they are going to show up. It will be like some weird coming of Jebus. no one knows when, they know it will happen. Maybe the misfits will just show up at some random spot, kick down the doors, take over and rock out.
john still cant read
The Misfits show is oct. 12th and rollins is like mid november i think so a little more than a week would br necessary to see both in one trip but it would be mighty fucking sweet to the misfits whith ya jared, its on a sunday just sumthin to think about
9/03/2008
Henry Rollins comin back to Da'ville
http://www.ticketmaster.com/event/160040F0F3474215?artistid=852591&majorcatid=10001&minorcatid=52
yea dont mind the fact he is giong to be doing shows in TX mind ya, throw that out the window. Take a road trip up here and watch it with us. Yes fun times and such.
http://www.ticketmaster.com/event/1600410CA3B53601?artistid=1246920&majorcatid=10001&minorcatid=1
Misfits will be in town also at City Block. on Nov. 2nd. yep you can make a week of it. It would be a hoot.
yea dont mind the fact he is giong to be doing shows in TX mind ya, throw that out the window. Take a road trip up here and watch it with us. Yes fun times and such.
http://www.ticketmaster.com/event/1600410CA3B53601?artistid=1246920&majorcatid=10001&minorcatid=1
Misfits will be in town also at City Block. on Nov. 2nd. yep you can make a week of it. It would be a hoot.
8/23/2008
SMASH you drunkards
I would absolutely be dilighted to smash and destroy peoples ability to get drunk and to buy guns and shit
it would make my fucking day..everyday
are you serious jared you would be dead in a week all the booze and guns you could ever dream of although im sure the manner in which you would have died would be quite hilarious
---drunk texas man gets angry at beer bottle for being empty and shoots said bottle with a glock 9; shrapnel from the bottle slice open his carotid artery and he bleeds out over a few thousand beer cans. Dumbass should have just smashed all the cans if he were so mad.----
and this has been an update from --
A FUCKING CAVEMAN
it would make my fucking day..everyday
are you serious jared you would be dead in a week all the booze and guns you could ever dream of although im sure the manner in which you would have died would be quite hilarious
---drunk texas man gets angry at beer bottle for being empty and shoots said bottle with a glock 9; shrapnel from the bottle slice open his carotid artery and he bleeds out over a few thousand beer cans. Dumbass should have just smashed all the cans if he were so mad.----
and this has been an update from --
A FUCKING CAVEMAN
8/22/2008
ATF...
Naw logic dictates I should give it to Brandon. As much as Brandon is straight edge seeing him taking personal pride in something he hates would be right for him. I can see him taking illegal booze and pouring it out in a warehouse and lighting it on fire blowing up the place. I can see Jared drinking up everything he gets and I can see the press ripping me for hiring someone who is drinking up everything. BUT there is hope. I will upgrade you a bit. You can be the guy on the couch...AT THE WHITE HOUSE! Now who could say that?
8/20/2008
Director of the ATF ftw..
You had me at kegger.. however, if I can't be vice president, I should be head of the ATF. Seizing properties and shit..
And we could rename the White House. We'll call it Castle Greyskull. Yeah, that's the ticket.
And we could rename the White House. We'll call it Castle Greyskull. Yeah, that's the ticket.
RODMAN 2012
Yep since I am going to be old enough for the 2012 election, I am running. I have allready started with my campaign on facebook since Travis and Sean have bugged me about getting on there, I figured that would be the best place to start. I expect you to vote for me and if I win I am having a kegger at the white house...Brandon I mean milk chugging...
8/12/2008
See, other people hate filth too...
you aint going to believe what I saw. I walked into McDonald's and this guy was yelling about his drink cup from Drive Thru being dirty. He was yelling at the workers and everything. Threatening to throw the drink on them and making them wear it. A guy in the lobby who was a customer was saying it isnt that serious or something. The guy got mad and was like "Keep out of this or I will throw this drink right on you." He didnt shut up and he threw it right on the back of his head. He got in his car and drove off and the guy followed him to the parking lot which the guy who threw the drink was stupid enought to work at charter. I saw the one who got hit calmly follow him over and I believe he was about to get a beat down over it. I later saw the same guy who was wearing coke in the lobby of wear I work talking to security...I will keep you updated...
8/07/2008
No worries
http://psychoward.tv/
We can still keep up with Kip. I wish there was webcast of his OLD shows. The new ones are informative, not entertaining, but informative. The old shows were a bit of both.
We can still keep up with Kip. I wish there was webcast of his OLD shows. The new ones are informative, not entertaining, but informative. The old shows were a bit of both.
8/05/2008
Akikos...KIP-LESS
Broderick went to Akikos this weekend when I was out of town and Kip was not there. He won a big lawsuit since he was in an accident. Now he is doing video documentries. The livewire is now dead and the Maned KJ is now tamed. Akikios will forever not be the same.
a moment of silence...
WE NEED TO RETURN AND ROCK IT OUT FOR KIP's HONOR!
a moment of silence...
WE NEED TO RETURN AND ROCK IT OUT FOR KIP's HONOR!
7/30/2008
Yea yea I found pics of the band too.
This mugs right here scare me. If they are satan's back up band I would be scared to death. They got all of those ravaged teeth and all scary and stuff. Naw man I bet the music coming out of these guys are some freaky stuff here I tell ya what. I bet my ears will bleed listening to them. Sabu has nothing on his guitar skilz.
7/28/2008
And now...
7/25/2008
Vomit Dongs
Alright im seriously done talking about logistics of barf dicks and where the tub is and any other shit even to do with cock hurl's
so how is everyone??
Oh yeah i just bought an octave pedal it sounds way cool it produce sounds two octaves below what your playing on guitar so i dont need a fucking bass player just a drummer; had one of those; he's out of the pic, i guess, so i might recruit my little brother to do some real song producing
sure would be nice to have a second guitar player though.
so how is everyone??
Oh yeah i just bought an octave pedal it sounds way cool it produce sounds two octaves below what your playing on guitar so i dont need a fucking bass player just a drummer; had one of those; he's out of the pic, i guess, so i might recruit my little brother to do some real song producing
sure would be nice to have a second guitar player though.
7/23/2008
Good logic...BUT
This was when I was living in the dorms at UofL and this dorm didnt have private bathrooms. They had a floor bathroom. It has stalls. I was in a stall. The bathtub you speak of is when the campus would catch a big rain and it would flood. Nearest shower was far away considering the circumstances. I was trapped in a stall to be doomed to throw up on my junk.
Logistics..
Why do you think the tub's always next to the toilet... that's for the puke man.
Hell, a bathtub is essentially a big ass 'bucket' with a drain. It's literally a catch-all with the capacity to hold all you can offer, and the capabilty to dispose of such messes. Where does it all go? Who cares, it's gone.
So what if you've got to stomp it down a bit every once in a while, and possibly push some vegetables aside to clear a path. The tub offers convenience and ease-of-use, not to mention a great place to relax and reflect after your stressful evacuation.
Hell, a bathtub is essentially a big ass 'bucket' with a drain. It's literally a catch-all with the capacity to hold all you can offer, and the capabilty to dispose of such messes. Where does it all go? Who cares, it's gone.
So what if you've got to stomp it down a bit every once in a while, and possibly push some vegetables aside to clear a path. The tub offers convenience and ease-of-use, not to mention a great place to relax and reflect after your stressful evacuation.
7/22/2008
PRIDE in NOT having SHAME
Yea man that is when I got the food poisoning. I was foutaining like a fire hydrant in the hood on a hot day...except of clear water it was puke and poop...that eventually got to the point it was clear as water... I was taking care of my back end and my front end want in on the toilet action.
My balls suffered from the effort.
http://www.eddieshit.com/
Yes sir, this Brit right here know his potty humor I tell ya what.
My balls suffered from the effort.
http://www.eddieshit.com/
Yes sir, this Brit right here know his potty humor I tell ya what.
Jesus Christ
That is possibly the worst thing i have ever heard, you puked on your own dick
OH MY GOD that is seriously fucking foul and just fucking sick
how bad of shape do you have to be in to hurl on your balls
you have no shame or pride john rodman
OH MY GOD that is seriously fucking foul and just fucking sick
how bad of shape do you have to be in to hurl on your balls
you have no shame or pride john rodman
7/21/2008
The Porcelin Gauntlet has been thrown down?
AND BROKE. Yea we dont need no toilet! Toilets are for punks. Using the bathroom on yourself in any way is a mark of excellence. I will even throw in puking. Shit I have puked all over myself. I have shit myself, and I even pissed myself...OUTSIDE OF MY OWN HOUSE! Yea I didnt even take the time to open the door and piss in my toilet. I stood on my porch and wet myself and the porch. Even better, I was not under any influence...I just couldnt get my keys out of my pocket... I even puked on my junk. Yea I was sick and taking a shit then puked on my junk. I had puke in my pubes! Teaches me not to shave my junk.
7/19/2008
Valid Points..
Hmmm... this won't be settled so easily it seems, so I declare that the true Champion of Man will be the first motherfucker to shit-piss himself.. that's right.
You better blow brown boats and golden flows all at once in some place other than the house to be a real gladiator.
You better blow brown boats and golden flows all at once in some place other than the house to be a real gladiator.
Pissin is for sissies
Listen here all you tards, pissin is for pansies a real man leaves brown mess where ever he goes
yellow is a bitch color, brown is all man baby you cant stink up a house with piss but a mighty shit that can clear the bitch out
ye have been warned
no one brags about pissin their pants but shit in them and your a legend
yellow is a bitch color, brown is all man baby you cant stink up a house with piss but a mighty shit that can clear the bitch out
ye have been warned
no one brags about pissin their pants but shit in them and your a legend
7/18/2008
Urination across the nation..
To hell with pooping, pissing is where it's at.. always has been.
While the lethargic and apathetic are on their asses (bowel)moving in slo-mo, the motivated are out there getting it done. You can aim it, flame it(if you drink enough kerosene), game it (distance? yeah.) and more bitches (in my experience) are willing to grab a Golden Shower over a Cleveland Steamer.
Why be a battleship when you can be "Big Boy" and sink that motherfucker?
Why smell like shit when you can just smell like asparagus?
Shitting is old news, in fact print this and educate your ass while you have to wipe, and hope you don't break through..
All I've got to do is shake, jiggle, and pull.. which is never a bad time, because me and my cack are like this son(*crosses fingers).
While the lethargic and apathetic are on their asses (bowel)moving in slo-mo, the motivated are out there getting it done. You can aim it, flame it(if you drink enough kerosene), game it (distance? yeah.) and more bitches (in my experience) are willing to grab a Golden Shower over a Cleveland Steamer.
Why be a battleship when you can be "Big Boy" and sink that motherfucker?
Why smell like shit when you can just smell like asparagus?
Shitting is old news, in fact print this and educate your ass while you have to wipe, and hope you don't break through..
All I've got to do is shake, jiggle, and pull.. which is never a bad time, because me and my cack are like this son(*crosses fingers).
7/16/2008
Funny you bring that up...
Travis went to Florida for his anniversary and they were at a resort where a fire occured and they had no power. So before he left he did a tribute to Jared, and peed in all the sinks in his room before he left.
Some dumbass bastich..
Show: all comments excellent (+10 or better)
sox12321 (13 hours ago) its manuel not manwell you retard
leroymc (3 minutes ago) Wrong! It is indeed Manwell, or at least in my case...
Ask your mother's face.
sox12321 (13 hours ago) its manuel not manwell you retard
leroymc (3 minutes ago) Wrong! It is indeed Manwell, or at least in my case...
Ask your mother's face.
Basshead Bear muthafucka!
What a champ... taking that balloon.
And hermit is right, locking your damn door and shit. Made me have to stand on that little-ass counter and piss in your sink.
And hermit is right, locking your damn door and shit. Made me have to stand on that little-ass counter and piss in your sink.
7/15/2008
Glad I was a hermit
Eating in my room paid off in the long run I see. As for my roomates...well sucks to be them.
You forgot I ate that night to from Taco Bell. Cant eat there my ass!
You forgot I ate that night to from Taco Bell. Cant eat there my ass!
Fucking with the 'Rod
hahah man we used to fuck with you so hard hahaha
I used to wipe boogers on your kitchen counter at betty johnson hahaha
that shit is the best
blasting you in the face with rocket water balloons for a 20 spot and then gettin taco bell with that said money when you cant even eat that shit HAHAHAHAHAHA
goddamn goddamn goddamn that shit is just tooo funny
I used to wipe boogers on your kitchen counter at betty johnson hahaha
that shit is the best
blasting you in the face with rocket water balloons for a 20 spot and then gettin taco bell with that said money when you cant even eat that shit HAHAHAHAHAHA
goddamn goddamn goddamn that shit is just tooo funny
ASS
yea like I wont read this or anything...
I am pretty sure all the alcohol I drank over time I am sure I am pretty much purified. According to Travis, I went to the point of no return when I did that stripper...It was still worth it...
I found a resolution along with the hand washing, the funding for the fire-armed trained fighting gorrillas for every public bathroom and the anti-bacterial. Alcohol. The cause and solution all of life's problems. I am sure I can drink the filth away. Lately I have not been in filth filled enviroment though. I dont work at UPS and it was chauked full of gunthers who were scared of soap and water. I say 80% of UPS, guys alone, were too much inbred to take avantage of the running water that UPS provided for them. I say the job I am at now, I have seen less non-hand washing. I am pretty much the only person who uses my area. If anyone else uses my area, I am only 30 feet from alcohol wipes. No worries no more.
Ya still gave me a dollar for that powerade...well you still gave me a dollar later on down the road...
I am pretty sure all the alcohol I drank over time I am sure I am pretty much purified. According to Travis, I went to the point of no return when I did that stripper...It was still worth it...
I found a resolution along with the hand washing, the funding for the fire-armed trained fighting gorrillas for every public bathroom and the anti-bacterial. Alcohol. The cause and solution all of life's problems. I am sure I can drink the filth away. Lately I have not been in filth filled enviroment though. I dont work at UPS and it was chauked full of gunthers who were scared of soap and water. I say 80% of UPS, guys alone, were too much inbred to take avantage of the running water that UPS provided for them. I say the job I am at now, I have seen less non-hand washing. I am pretty much the only person who uses my area. If anyone else uses my area, I am only 30 feet from alcohol wipes. No worries no more.
Ya still gave me a dollar for that powerade...well you still gave me a dollar later on down the road...
Ah yes, that old chestnut..
I just went to the kitchen to get some more water, and was instantly struck with laughter when a damn bug flew into my glass. Not because I knew that I would just eat it, and the water... but because it reminded me of the time at UPS when we pooled some money to get John to eat a smashed cricket.
That shit was funny. Even better is the fact that I spit on that cricket when I was out chillin' on the dock, before I smashed it. (I would never tell him that though, as he's a crazy germaphobe.)
I was then reminded of the time John bought a fresh Powerade, only to open it up and drop it on the floor two seconds later. He was pissed, knowing that he wouldn't drink it after having been on the ground like that. What happened next, though, was even better. I reached down to grab it, and John became enraged. He tried to kick it away from my hand, because if he couldn't have it, no one would.
That shit was funny. Even better is the fact that I spit on that cricket when I was out chillin' on the dock, before I smashed it. (I would never tell him that though, as he's a crazy germaphobe.)
I was then reminded of the time John bought a fresh Powerade, only to open it up and drop it on the floor two seconds later. He was pissed, knowing that he wouldn't drink it after having been on the ground like that. What happened next, though, was even better. I reached down to grab it, and John became enraged. He tried to kick it away from my hand, because if he couldn't have it, no one would.
7/14/2008
7/07/2008
Hey thanx :D
Yea man I went over to Broderick's last week. I weighed myself. 207. I went back this week, which was a week later. 218. YEA MAN WHOOOOOOOOO. Sean is going to be losing weigh thanx to his doctor. Too much tissue around his heart. No doctor told me to not do that so I am okay to remain fat and continue to get fatter. Jaba the Hutt was the ultimate epic fat ass. Calling me that is just an insult to him since I have not even recieved my first heart attack to level up past level 45. He was the Epic Level 50. Epic level is a whole new game I have not even scratched the surface on. That is when I get to sit at home in my bed and not move. He was even too big for those hoverarounds. I want people to bring me food and women. It be fun times.
7/05/2008
America, FUCK YEAH
yeah so the 4th wasn't too eventful some works bombs and mortar goofin off although we did have another works bomb take flight the bottom blew out and it went a pretty good ways into the air haven't seen that happen in a good while.
thats about it though, still not much going on up here except for john apparently getting fat as fuck and still hanging out with sean they will eventually look exactly alike
and that picture of the bushwhacker it seriously took me little bit to realize which one was john thats how gnarly your getting there buddy, you look like a bushwhacker
later
thats about it though, still not much going on up here except for john apparently getting fat as fuck and still hanging out with sean they will eventually look exactly alike
and that picture of the bushwhacker it seriously took me little bit to realize which one was john thats how gnarly your getting there buddy, you look like a bushwhacker
later
7/04/2008
Jaba!
You do look fat as shit dude, or at least fatter since last I saw you... dirty bastich.
And, Nickelodeon's gonna sue your ass for posting a picture of Patrick on here claiming he's a sidekick of yours..
How dare you sir!
And, Nickelodeon's gonna sue your ass for posting a picture of Patrick on here claiming he's a sidekick of yours..
How dare you sir!
7/03/2008
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